Sunday, July 24, 2005

With Trepidation in the Face of Providence He is Reborn

It wasn't time yet. That's what she said. It wasn't time.

He sat in his safe place, knees drawn up to his chin, staring with great intensity at nothing. He rocked, slightly. He felt so eager.

But it wasn't time yet. That's what she said.

He wished it was time. He wished he could go now. He knew things would be different. He just knew it. The loneliness he'd carried around with him, the fear that always gripped him, all that would be gone. He knew it. He wanted to go where everything would be better.

Except she said it wasn't time.

So he waited.

And doubt entered his mind.

What if things weren't better? What if it didn't wash away this time. He'd done this before, after all. He drew his knees up closer and tightened his grip on his legs. He buried his face in his knees. Things always seemed better at the beginning, but he always managed to do something wrong, which led to everything unraveling and him ending up back here.

Waiting.

For it to be time.

He hoped she would come see him before he left, instead of just telling him when it was time. He liked it when she came to see him. But she was busy. She had a big job. So sometimes, she couldn't come.

So he waited.

His mother sat in the midwife's office, hand resting on her ample round belly. The midwife was telling her it could still be a week or two yet, and to be patient.

"It's likely this is just false labor," the midwife said.

His mother laughed without much humor. "Fells pretty real to me," she said.

The midwife flashed her a smile that was meant to be warm and supportive but, given the circumstances, just seemed patronizing. "I'm sure it does."

He sat with his knees up and rocked again. Something was happening. He knew it. She wasn't here, but he was getting ready to go.

In the midwife's office, his mother felt something warm splash against her thigh.

Something strange was happening to his safe place. It seemed familiar, whatever it was. He thought it meant he'd be going soon.

And then she was there, a bright shining light in his soul. She asked him if he was sure. Everything had gone so horribly last time. She assured him he'd earned a longer respite.

He told her he was sure. He needed to get it right, to make up for the horrors of the last time that were of his own making. He needed to do this to reach his final rest.

She smiled down on him then, and lay her blessings upon him, and he began to go.

His mother grit her teeth, grunting, and the midwife looked up at her from the end of the exam table.

"It's time."

15 comments:

Chris said...

Welcome, one and all, to the First Annual (more or less) Name This Story Contest.

I couldn't think of anything to write tonight, but I knew I had to write something, so I just sat down and let the story write itself. I hope you enjoyed the result.

Anyway, I am still completely uninspired in coming up with a name for this story. So, I put it to all of you: what should this story be called?

I'll pick my favorite either Monday night or Tuesday, and then change the title accordingly.

Looking forward to what you all come up with.

Lisa said...

Oh...that was so sad...it sounds like a woman who has had a long road, and is ready for--probably deserving of--some joy.

"Born Again"

Hope-So said...

Okay, I'm in.

Give me until tomorrow.

I'll be back....


I liked it.

Bud said...

Very nice. I'd just call it This Time.

Hope-So said...

Holding Pattern

Trepidation

Now serving Number 1,656,987,414

Am I In The Right Line?

Choosen One

Oh, I don't know. You'll come up with something great...loved the story.

Kat said...

Rebirth

Rae Ann said...

Dude. That was just .... WOW. As for a title I like "It's Time" or even "Name This Story" seems to fit in a way because it's at the beginning of an unknown. Did that make sense? Or maybe "Providence".

rAsp said...

Cool story. I can see why you had trouble with a name though. Maybe:

Resurrection

or perhaps

Back in Line

Chris said...

Okay. I've decided. It was tough, as there were many great entries, so my only option was to combine a whole bunch of them together.

One of the things I always liked about the old sci-fi short stories is how some of them would have these really long, lyrical sounding names. And, by using a suggestion from just about everybody, I've managed to approximate the kind of title I was referring to.

Or, another way of looking at it is that I can't make a decision to save my life.

But this was fun. Thanks for playing. :)

rAsp said...

Wow . . . excellent!

Rae Ann said...

Great choice!! And so diplomatic too!

Chris said...

Thanks! There were so many good ideas, I couldn't possibly pick just one. I was trying to fit in something about being in line too, but that was a bit much.

I'll be doing another of these at some point, since we all had so much fun with this one. :)

Rae Ann said...

I hope you don't mind that I've linked you on my blog.

Chris said...

Not at all. Thank you, in fact. I will happily return the favor, and add you to my "Friends and Well-Wishers" link section.

Now that I think on it, there are a few others here I should do that for as well.

m said...

sorry it took so long to get to it...loved it. i thought "begin again" or "finnegin begins again". isn't that how the song goes? anyway, even if i'm too late to give your brainchild a name (hmmm...) i still liked it.