He woke, slightly groggy, and made a vain attempt to figure out just where he was. He was in a very comfortable bed, though not his own, in a tastefully, yet eclectically, decorated bedroom, also not his own. He didn't recognize the room, nor the woman in the few photos near the bed. She was cute, though.
And then she was in the room, standing next to the bed clad only in what he recognized as one of his dress shirts. A foggy recollection from the previous night suggested he had worn that shirt to Kim's party. Kim's party... is that where he met this woman?
"'Morning, babe," she purred, handing him a mug of coffee.
"Thanks," he croaked through his incredibly dry mouth, taking the mug. He sipped it cautiously, and found it was exactly the way he liked it. "Mmmm," he said. "this is delicious. Thanks again."
"Don't mention it, sexy," she said with a sly smile, sliding into bed next to him. She lay down, her tousled red hair splayed across the pillow, and his shirt open to reveal most of two perfectly formed breasts. They, too, seemed vaguely familiar. The woman stretched and sighed, lying up against him with her head on his shoulder. He smiled and drank his coffee. He may not know who this woman was now, but he clearly knew her very well last night. He briefly regretted how drunk he must have been the night before. He had a feeling last night was one he'd want to remember. He finished the last of his coffee and set the mug down on the end table next to him.
"Um, listen," he said, as the woman began nuzzling his neck. "At the risk of insulting you, I was wondering, uh...ohhh..." She'd begun doing something with her hand that was making it very hard for him to think straight.
"Forgotten my name, have you?" she murmured, kissing her way from his neck to his chest, then back up his neck to his mouth. "Don't worry about it, baby. I never even bothered to ask yours."
"Mmmm," he kissed her back as she crawled up on top of him. "Oh-okay..."
He kissed her mouth, their tongues twining together, then kissed her neck. She moved up, pressing her breasts against his face. He took one and then the other into his mouth, sucking them until he heard her moan. He grabbed hold of her and threw her down on the bed, where she landed with a gasp and a giggle. From her breasts he kissed down her stomach, stopping between her legs, inhaling the delicious scent of her before kissing and licking and sucking her to multiple sustained orgasms.
Then she kissed him, licking her juices from his lips, and said, "My turn." She smiled and winked, and began kissing her way down his chest.
They had sex five times that morning, once with her on top, once with him on top, twice with him behind her and once with her pressed up against the wall. She came, screaming, that final time, collapsing on top of him, their bodies entwined in a pulsing, sweating knot of glistening limbs.
"That was... that was..." he panted, feeling his heart pound in his chest.
"I know," she sighed, content. "Amazing." She climbed on top of him, straddling him, and smiled. "Time for breakfast," she said.
"Oh hey yeah, that sounds--"
The rest of his words were cut off with a wet gurgle as she tore out his throat with her teeth. For a while, he struggled to breathe through the ragged hole in his neck. By the time she'd stripped the flesh from his chest and most of one arm, he was dead. She ate a while, but was interrupted by the phone.
She wiped her arm over her mouth, smearing his blood across her cheek as she answered the phone. "Hello?"
"Oh, hi Kim. No, he stayed over. Yeah, twice last night and five times this morning. I'm really going to miss this one, but you know how it goes."
Her eyes widened at the words coming over the phone. "What? No, you didn't tell me. No. No, you didn't. Well, okay yeah, I was pretty drunk, but shit, Kim. I would have remembered that."
She sighed, rolling her eyes. "Yeah, okay. Okay! God! I'll remember for next time." She said goodbye and hung up the phone, returning to the half-eaten corpse on her bed. She looked down at him and shrugged.
"If she didn't want me eating her friends, she should stop trying to set me up with them."
A Happy, Safe, Healthy and appropriately Drunken New Year from Spontaneous Fiction!